I am coming up on another birthday. I like milestones. Markers of time that call you to take inventory. What you’ve tackled. Or survived. What brought you joy. What brought you sorrow. And how best to apply that learning to the next year — in hopes that there is more joy than sorrow for the next trip around.

In the 21st century, when change is the only constant, understanding, and managing complexity has become not just a skill but a necessity. If you were born in America in the 1940s, you have had a front-row seat to one of the most dramatic transformations of our collective culture and lives. I have spent much time in this Substack arguing that our most pressing problems come from our environment of too much.

In 2013, Americans spent an average of six and half hours per week with friends; by 2021, that number dropped to 2 hours and 45 minutes — a 58% decline. Over the course of a year — that equates to a loss of eight 24-hour days spent with friends. What I know most about the mind is that it is malleable with repetition and practice — and 11,520 fewer minutes a year spent on training our minds to see other human beings with the fullness and compassion — the kind that in-person interaction demands — will begin to take a toll very quickly.